Christopher Moore

Originally published in the Ketchikan Daily News, September 2018; written by Tammy Dinsmore

If you are a fan of author Christopher Moore, (“Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal” and “Coyote Blue” and many others) you will be happy to know that he has a new book out! I am currently listening to and enjoying “Noir”.

This story reminds me of one of those pulp novels from the 1930s, 40s and 50s.

The story takes place in San Francisco in 1947. The war is over and jobs are scarce. Sammy Tiffin, aka Sammy Two-Toes is working as a bartender at Sal’s Saloon when in walks “a dame”. “She had the kind of legs that kept her butt from resting on her shoes — a size-eight dame in a size-six dress and every mug in the joint was rooting for the two sizes to make a break for it.” Ok, I’m sorry, but this just made me laugh out loud. Her name is Stilton (like the cheese), and she and Sammy hit it off. As Sammy and “The Cheese” are getting to know each other, weird things begin to happen.

Sammy’s boss Sal gets involved with an US Air Force General who is trying to get into an exclusive men’s-only club and he thinks providing women at their camp in the woods is the way to do it. No floozies though! They have to be like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. He enlists Sal’s help who in turn enlists Sammy’s help. This gets Sal into some trouble.

When Sammy goes to Chinatown with his friend Eddie and learns of a Chinese custom, he decides to undertake a scheme of his own. Sammy’s scheme has deadly consequences for his boss, Sal. He finds Sal dead on the floor of the bar, with an empty crate that should have been holding a venomous snake. He decides to get rid of the body; the body is stolen by two guys in suits who are looking for Sammy and The Cheese. Sammy is trying to stay ahead of the two guys.

A crooked cop, Pookie O’Hara learns that Sal is setting something up and wants in on the action. He doesn’t know that Sal is dead. He threatens a black man, Lone Jones in Sal’s Saloon and they clock him over the head and then hide him at Eddie’s Uncle Ho’s place in Chinatown until they can figure out what to do with him.

After an argument, The Cheese disappears and Sammy sets off trying to find her. He enlists the help of his friends and tries to keep the bar open too, so that nobody knows what has happened to Sal.

I have laughed many times throughout this book, and I can’t wait to see what happens to Sammy and the gang next. So many clichés, it’s like watching one of those gangster films from that era. If you like Christopher Moore, I think you may like this novel. We have it in print as well as in audiobook format.