New perspectives

Originally published in the Ketchikan Daily News, August 2021; written by Lisa Pearson.

There’s an adage that before you judge a person, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That sounds like it would take a lot of time. It would be much easier to just read some of the new books at the library that not only present a different perspective, but do it in a lighthearted, humorous way.

“The gran tour: travels with my elders” by Ben Aitken takes you along on six different bus trips (or “coach tour holidays”, as they are called in the UK) that are marketed specifically to seniors. Many of Aitken’s fellow travelers are in their 80’s and 90’s and take these tours frequently. His youthful presence on the bus intrigues everyone, and they are more than willing to spend hours talking with him about their younger lives, their relationships with their families, their take on politics, and advice on dating.

Aitken’s style is very readable, with most of the book focused on the actual conversations he has with the seniors. He’s not trying to analyze or compartmentalize people; he is merely emphasizing the importance of intergenerational encounters in a world where it’s so easy to tune out people who don’t appear to have anything in common with you. And he makes those coach tours sound like a lot of fun, too.

“A beginner’s guide to America for the immigrant and the curious” by Roya Hakakian works really well on two different levels. For those of us whose immigration roots are a few generations back, it reveals what our families felt when they first arrived. Hakakian – who is originally from Iran – writes from the perspective of someone fleeing a level of oppression and violence which not all immigrants experience, but she does capture beautifully the sense of unease and unfamiliarity which all new arrivals feel. Her style is light and conversational, with an undercurrent of humor.

The other aspect of this book that I really enjoyed was they way it describes how America appears to non-Americans. Little things like bake sale fundraisers, flags on our porches, smiling customer service, and descriptive street names are not things I think of as being quintessentially American (and I suspect you will find quite of few of these in stable democracies around the world). But it’s important to realize how striking they could seem to someone who grew up in fear, and who looks at these small tokens as concrete examples of promised freedom.

“Sure, I’ll be your black friend: notes from the other side of the fist bump” by Ben Philippe is a memoir, told in short installments, of a life dealing with misconceptions, stereotypes and racism – not from aggressive strangers on the street, but from friends, classmates, and coworkers. Each short chapter presents cringe worthy moments of casual racism from the people he knows. Constant assumptions that - as a Black man – he can supply drugs for a party, that he is angry and militant, and that his friendship conveys “wokeness” are just as wearing as the outright racist comments from a stranger on the subway.

As a Haitian who emigrated to Canada as a child, and then to America to attend college, he also talks about the upheaval in lifestyles for new immigrants. His mother – a nurse in Haiti – is not considered qualified in Canada, and must return to school. A bank account that supported a mansion with servants in Haiti could only provide a tiny apartment in Quebec. His father cannot cope with the loss of status and respect that follows their move to Canada, and the marriage falls apart. Having seen the Canadian Dream fall flat for his parents, Philippe is more primed for difficulties when he moves to the U.S. However, he manages to keep a sense of humor throughout his life, and his book is a melding of essay and stand-up comedy routine with plenty of wit at his own expense.

In this COVID-tinted world of divisions and distrust, it’s nice to step back and spend a few hours looking at life through a new set of eyes. It’s instructive to see that different experiences can lead to a different way of interacting with life. Reading these books won’t bring about world peace, but they might just help you be a little more patient with the person ahead of you in the grocery line.