Parents and children

Originally published in the Ketchikan Daily News, July 2020; written by Rebecca Brown.

How often do you hear your mom or dad’s voice coming out of your mouth? Does it make you cringe or flush with nostalgic joy?

For me: Both.

Two books containing essays about the relationships we have with our parents and own kids have claimed my attention. These short, staccato little bites are tasty treats to enjoy right before bed or easily swallowed on the go.

“Apple, Tree: Writers on Their Parents” is a surprisingly meaty collection of essays edited by Lise Funderburg. Twenty-five authors, many famous, offer stories of how their parents helped mold them – sometimes messily - into the wordsmiths of today.

Ann Patchett’s self-deprecating tribute to her mom is “Sisters.” It details how her mother’s great beauty and seeming inability to age came to define them more as siblings. It’s so simply, beautifully written that I re-read it to my own 12- and 14-year-old daughters, and yes, the gentle twist at the end had me reading through tears (“Oh MOM.”).

Marc Mewshaw, whose father is a famous writer himself, writes about the incredible pressure of replicating his dad’s success and Titan-sized personality in “A Measure of Perversity.” The cost: A freefall into alcoholism that Mewshaw writes about unflinchingly.

“But unlike my father, who had the chutzpah to go his own way, I gave into the seductiveness of the herd so cravenly I was nearly trampled,” writes Mewshaw.

Some of the essays detail life with parents who are battling mental illness, debilitating chronic pain or dementia. “My Story about My Mother,” by Mat Johnson, “Off, Off, Off, Off, Off,” by Daniel Mendelsohn and “Fragments from the Long Game,” by Kate Carroll de Gutes are equally heartbreaking and relatable. Donna Masini talks of her mom’s tendency to hoard in “What We Keep,” while Avi Steinberg connects his mother’s “ever-shifting exhibits” (obsessive “collecting”) with her unrealized dreams to have a career in the 1960s and ‘70s in his piece “Household Idols.”

“The intention and care given to her objects somehow testifies to her thwarted ambitions, and it can be painful to witness,” writes Steinberg, who admits to inheriting his mom’s penchant for “collecting.”

Another easy-to-read book is Cathy Guisewite’s humorous “Fifty Things That Aren’t My Fault: Essays from the Grown-up Years.” If her name rings a bell, it is because she wrote the comic strip “Cathy” for 34 years.

Cartoonists’ personal lives have always intrigued me, and Guisewite shares about the struggle to find purpose post-retirement, and her gleeful foibles as a daughter and mom. You can almost hear her sigh with relief to be liberated from cartoon panels into full-fledged pages of prose.

If these books sound intriguing, come pay us a visit at Ketchikan Public Library! For those avoiding public places, call us at 225-3331 to pick up your books curbside at the library. For folks who are housebound due to mobility or mental health issues, we are delighted to assist! Delivery to your home is possible by calling Outreach Services at 228-2309.